ramblings#5

i stare vacantly at the keyboard. but oh so pretty. why is class canceled? Not that it does any good. right now being in class is probably worse. Attention spans are shrinking all over the world. Our generation, once expected to have at least a 30 second attention span, has had their minds bombarded and battered. They have worn down to the point of 15 seconds, or i turn away and forget about it. It makes the intro so much more important i guess. Focus on the task at hand. Lest we forget. Forgot. Too late.

ramblings#3

just let it all out. run around until you just fall down asleep. i'm letting these fly faster than a ramones tribute band. ouch. shoes. don't think. just feel. i have done a lot of thinking. i need to do a lot of feeling. it is release. let me tell you. once you find release. don't stop. things will build up again. don't let it back up too much this time. but that can take a life time to figure out. but it doesn't have to. you could figure it out a lot faster. and sometimes the process can be accelerated. but when the minutes feel like hours. and days feel like weeks. it seems that things will take a lifetime. and that is why i need my friends. we all need our friends. especially now. it has been a real joy to realize that i have some incredible friends. i have real brothers. and i have new friends that have been there for me after i have failed them for so long. sevanna scott is a wonderful person and a true friend and i love her dearly. i hope that our friendship continues on and on and on. i hope that i can serve her as a real friend. that would make me so happy. nick gividen is my brother. i love nick so much. the friendship nick has shown me over the last two weeks reminds me what it means to have a best friend. i am so glad that god is using nick this summer and that he is going to be in azusa with me. i have really missed him every summer. it is gonna be great to have this friendship this summer. and right now in the mean time. jake salley has become my brother these past two weeks. words of wisdom and guidance. friendship. counsel. love. what a friend i have in him. and there are the usual brothers. matt bolt. andrew rehfeld. brian moreland. sam crittenden. and there is andrew bowerman. andrew has shown me love in so many ways. his example has had a huge effect on everything. forever changing my perspective. i love andrew,and i can't wait to see how his love and compassion changes the world. i expect nothing less of it. kassidy heal and matt bohlka have been another set of big brothers to me. i have looked up to kassidy ever since i can remember and it is so incredible to have a real friendship developing with him and matt. they have let me know that they are there for me. showing me love, helping me every step of the way. i have a million ideas that bounce around in my head. i am learning so much. time waits for no one. i want growth. i want compassion. love that passes understanding. healing. wisdom. guidance. friendship. i can't get enough. i can't get enough. my head hurts. my heart hurts. my mouth hurts. my soul is weary, but it is growing. i feel it now.

french word of the day

abreuvoir-watering place

ramblings#4

and here we go. away and away and away. "what the fuck do you want?" he muttered from the dark room. "get out of the room you much." "you dare say that to me before i've had me sausage you nub ill slit your throat cookey!" "piss off sorry i've distrurbed you morning wank, there is an h drought you know." "well i'm going to china town anyways" "yeah?" "eah" "fuckin ell." "will you get out of bed we got a car waiting?" "sorry nob." the door slams shut.

ramblings#2

the time we spend wasting time. i don't want to waste another second of my life. i never want to be complacent again. i was taught this lesson so long ago. when did i decide that it wasn't important? now i feel that it is the most important aspect of my life. i will be done with school in two years. i hope that i can start or join a band like the BITERS or the Booze. i want that for myself right now. this week i have decided that i don't want to double major in music. it was weird coming to this realization that i never wanted to be a studio musician. i never wanted to be a band teacher or a guitar instructor. at least at this point. i want to become the best musician that i can be. i think that four semesters of music theory have been useful tools to better me as a musician. and i want to start taking lessons and playing so much more consistently. but i never wanted to be making a living off of music, just to say i was making a living off of music. i want to do it on my terms. i can't hold myself back any longer. i need to write and play and really reach for the stars. i love playing bluegrass music. i love rock and roll. i love the idea of being in a rock and roll band with people that get it. The BITERS get it. THe Booze get it. The Avett Brothers get it. Nick gets it. Jake gets it. I get it. You know who i really admire in regards to being a musician. Kyle Greenburg. He is not a music major, yet he puts in so much time and effort on his instrument. It is so awesome to see the dedication and effort that he puts in to not only music, but a lot of the aspects of his life. it inspires me to do the same. music is so crucial. it's hard right now. i need new music. i need the music that has never let me down. i need to just crank up an old tube amp and melt into the tone that rattles my teeth. because music is in the bones. i don't know where the fuck i got it from. but it's in the bones. it's in the bones.

ramblings#1

saw a bench in the park that had g town skins on it. crossed out to say g town mods, crossed out again to say g town skins again. and we all fall down the hill. laughing because we don't want to cry. and you have to grow. always grow and learn. and change. and most importantly love. never stop loving.

i never understood that. until now. i hope that on my tombstone it says he never stopped loving. he fought cynicism until the bitter end.

there is something about the brotherhood of john, paul, george, and ringo that never fails. just four boys from liverpool who grew up in front of the world. totally in love with rock and roll. and each other. if the beatles had never broken up, it wouldn't be as magical. in the end they were destined to implode. they carried the weight of the world on their shoulders for ten years. they eased the pain of vietnam, the assinations of jfk, and mlk. they were there when we walked on the moon for the first time, and they are always there when we need them to be.
i will start writing about what these bands mean to us. i have a lot that i want to share. and when i can't share i'll share more.

Vallentines Day Is Over

Winter is almost over. Not that anyone would notice around here. Although there was snow on Altadena ridge. February was a low month. Finally got through the dreaded cash drought of the winter. From $160 for a power jack replacement, to $190 for jaywalking. I am finally out of the black and into the red (so give us this day our daily bread.) But who am i to complain. Take it easy, but take it.
I finally started my life long goal of reading a biography on every president of the united states. but i think you have to read more than one washington biography. it reminds me of an early day in june. Being in eighth grade. The summer on our skin as we explored the east as the west was won. Can i ever explain it? Can i ever put it into perspective? A recent attempt pales in comparison to the memory.
March will be here soon. what a month. down in fullerton with the BITERS and the Booze. Pre order of all Chewed up on the 1st. At Maximum Volume is out today. For tomorrow we die. And then live again, in the paradigm.