ramblings#70

you know i have really been trying. do you think it is easy? no it's not. but i have been trying my best. and for what? obviously i am the only one who cares. all of my actions seem to mean nothing. all the thought i have put into everything. the pain, the humiliation, the stress. apparently my relationship in any form doesn't really mean anything.

its a horrorshow.

ramblings#69

i don't know. i don't know anymore. look at it any way you like. i don't know anymore.
you can tell me that i do. but i don't. that's probably hard to face.

you smug faced crowd with kindling eye
who cheer as soldier lads march by
sneak home and pray you'll never know
the hell where youth and laughter go

ramblings#68

cause its a long ways to go, a hard row to hoe
its a long way to go, but in the meantime

ramblings#67

lord please help me.

ramblings#66

i have to let it go. once and for all let go of the pain. i feel like if i let go of my pain, everything will be gone forever. that is not true. it has been a burden for far too long. i cant move forward being attached to it anymore. it's not letting go of my love, it's just the pain and it's at that point where all it's doing is keeping me down. lord give me the strength to let go of the pain once and for all.

ramblings#65

if i live the life i'm given, i won't be scared to die.

ramblings#64

pirate love? really? after everything that i lived and breathed? it's insulting.

because everything is different on the otherside. they are all authentic and you never see them outside of that show, and so they stay like that in your mind. and even all of the old pictures show them, engraved forever on the king's road as thick as thieves. but that is never the full story, and so the thing you put all of your belief in to never really existed. in the end johnny rotten wears designer clothes and has done an advert for butter. steve ignorant reformed crass. and sid vicous died.

and you just decided to pay attention?