ramblings#61

finally the hardest semester of my life is over. i cant even begin to explain how hard this time has been for me. i have a shoebox full of papers that can. where i poured out who knows what onto paper. even the memory of some of the nights i have spent in the past few months seem like such a burden. loneliness, desperation, hurt, anger, love, sadness, forgiveness, patience, joy, peace. where am i supposed to go with it all? some would never look back, keeping it hidden from sight, choosing to bury it all because of the pain that it brings with it. but i don't want to do that. i want to embrace all of my story even the parts where my back is broken. i'm still not sure how i will embrace this or where the story goes, but i do know that i keep faith. we can't take anything or anyone for granted. that's the only thing i can emphasize. so give it everything you got. my love feels so much deeper now. i used to say those words and they were so easy. i feel like they have earned so much meaning now. to everyone. i know that i am terrible at articulating the feelings that i have. i don't think i paint a 5th of the picture i want to paint in these. the only thing i want to convey is how much i love each one of you. i don't know everyone that reads this, but after all that i have been through i wouldn't want anyone to think for a single second that i don't care about them. and maybe this won't sound genuine at all because its real hard to sound sincere on the internet. but i love you. thanks for being with me the past few months. i cant thank you enough. for all that you have ever done for me. i love you.