ramblings#3

just let it all out. run around until you just fall down asleep. i'm letting these fly faster than a ramones tribute band. ouch. shoes. don't think. just feel. i have done a lot of thinking. i need to do a lot of feeling. it is release. let me tell you. once you find release. don't stop. things will build up again. don't let it back up too much this time. but that can take a life time to figure out. but it doesn't have to. you could figure it out a lot faster. and sometimes the process can be accelerated. but when the minutes feel like hours. and days feel like weeks. it seems that things will take a lifetime. and that is why i need my friends. we all need our friends. especially now. it has been a real joy to realize that i have some incredible friends. i have real brothers. and i have new friends that have been there for me after i have failed them for so long. sevanna scott is a wonderful person and a true friend and i love her dearly. i hope that our friendship continues on and on and on. i hope that i can serve her as a real friend. that would make me so happy. nick gividen is my brother. i love nick so much. the friendship nick has shown me over the last two weeks reminds me what it means to have a best friend. i am so glad that god is using nick this summer and that he is going to be in azusa with me. i have really missed him every summer. it is gonna be great to have this friendship this summer. and right now in the mean time. jake salley has become my brother these past two weeks. words of wisdom and guidance. friendship. counsel. love. what a friend i have in him. and there are the usual brothers. matt bolt. andrew rehfeld. brian moreland. sam crittenden. and there is andrew bowerman. andrew has shown me love in so many ways. his example has had a huge effect on everything. forever changing my perspective. i love andrew,and i can't wait to see how his love and compassion changes the world. i expect nothing less of it. kassidy heal and matt bohlka have been another set of big brothers to me. i have looked up to kassidy ever since i can remember and it is so incredible to have a real friendship developing with him and matt. they have let me know that they are there for me. showing me love, helping me every step of the way. i have a million ideas that bounce around in my head. i am learning so much. time waits for no one. i want growth. i want compassion. love that passes understanding. healing. wisdom. guidance. friendship. i can't get enough. i can't get enough. my head hurts. my heart hurts. my mouth hurts. my soul is weary, but it is growing. i feel it now.