ramblings#9

what i would do for something to say. i just feel exhausted. my soul is tired. my mind is tired. i have been going up and then down and then up and back down. i guess that's a part of the process. i want to just drive. i am looking forward to a week off of school for spring break. i am going to use everyday of it, no every hour of it to rest, relax, refocus, and recharge. i don't want to go home, but it will be good for me to do so. i want to cry. i want to scream. i want to go out and shake the world. i want to laugh. i want to sing. all at once. i am trying hard to stay focused on me. i really like myself. i want to try harder. i want to move faster. but you speed up time. you can't shut yourself off to this process. you can't stop growing. i am growing up. and i'm becoming a better man for going through it. and i will always be. i have a long way to go, even though it feels like i have come so far. i still have a long way to go. i thought i had a grasp on the whole one day at a time idea, but now that i have really come to terms with it, it is much better than i imagined. it is not an easy adjustment, and you can never forget about the people you love and care for. but just take things as they come. cherish the moments that the day brings you. it's a balance. look forward to the future but be present and honest with yourself everyday. it is easy to say, but it means so much more to act upon and live by.
my friend sevanna got a job at ikea. how awesome is that? what a place to work. it reminds me that we need a new coffee table. we'll have to go get one once she starts working there. i am continuing to try and find a new job. i almost had one at the student book store but my class schedule prevented me from being able to get the job. that is such a bummer. but i keep looking, and i keep trying. who knows what i will find. lets see what the next hour has in store for me.