after all my ramblings have been posted, and all of the dust settles, the train pulls into the station and i put my bags down. only what is honest, and true will remain. in the end i must live a man of my word. i am not helpless. i do not fear the future or what it may hold. i stay true to what i know. it is not my nature to not take initiative. who have i become in the recent past that i have sunken in to anything than what i truly am? I have so much more confidence,conviction, and promise than i have shown. and so i apologize to my dearest friends. though i suppose no apology is needed because that is what friends are for when you are down on your luck. but i apologize none the less. to my dearest friend. I have not been the man you knew i was. all that i can do is try my best to live up to what i know i can be. and that is all that i am trying to do. with humility. with sincerity that i hope my life can reflect. all that i ask is that a genuine image is reflected. it has not been in a while. it pains me to admit.
i forgive myself.
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