I think worrying is maybe my worst character flaw. I realize that both of my parents worry about a ton of little insignificant things, and they probably in turn passed that on to me. But i worry about way too much. Or at least i used to. Lately i have been doing really well at letting go of all of the little things. I still am worrying about some bigger issues, but i am training myself to only take things ones step at a time and realizing that it has never ever helped me one bit to worry about these things. Some people might say that if i didn't worry i wouldn't be being true to myself, that that is just who i am. I say to them. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. When i was younger so much younger than today. I didn't have a care in the world. I didn't worry about the future. That was the point. No future. I was probably the most confident and secure back then when i didn't worry about everything. Oh there were things that bothered me, and it wasn't like i never had troublesome thoughts. But i never let them consume me, like i have somehow gotten accustomed to as of late. And so i say this. I let go of all of my worries. I am done making myself sick over nothing. I am done putting shit into my head that isn't even there. No Future for me. This will probably be a process that takes quite a bit of effort at first. I am confident that i will return to that state of mind that doesn't poison myself with useless worries.
I owe a lot of this outlook to my dear friend, and the biggest, and fat-est, arsenal supporter i know. Mr John Lydon. Thanks johnny. You never let me down.
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